But, Why Peaches?


What would you have done?


The Husband and I, driving home from date night....in a 90's hip-hop zone... and in one instant shit changed!

I went to connect my phone to the Bluetooth in his truck and one of the connection options was the name PEACHES!


So, who the fuck is PEACHES????


The Husband was so distracted by Tribe Called Quest that he didn't notice my change in demeanor.


My face turned into that thing it does when The Husband pisses me off and I cannot stop it!

I asked as nicely as I could....in a soft whispery voice...

“Who did you have in your truck that calls herself Peaches?“ is what my mouth said but muuuthafucka is what my face said.


His response was,

"I don’t know. I don’t remember" he was all nonchalant like it’s cool.

Let's pause the story here for a sec because that is where he went wrong. All I heard in my head was the cop's voice from Menace II Society, "You know you done fucked up don't you?"


Number One.. Saying “I don’t remember” means there is a possibility that there was a Peaches all up in the fucking truck and she connected her phone to the Bluetooth!


Number Two... Saying “I don’t remember” means there is a possibility that other women have been Bluetoothing in the truck. The way I see it is if nobody was in the truck the answer should be a stern "NOBODY WAS IN HERE"

PERIOD!


Number Three... Saying “I don’t remember” means our night is about to be all fucked up now!


Back to the story...


His face was now all panicky with that weird attitude face men make when women are upset with them after they fucked up. He was trying to focus on driving while making perplexed weirdo faces. He did not look at me. Not even a side sneak peripheral peek.


I asked again.... this time in my normal stern, passionate, borderline aggressive voice...


“Who is Peaches and when was she in here?”


He repeats his first dumb response... “I don't know.”

He legit has the struggle face right now. Like he's really trying to figure it out. I can't tell if it's real or fake but I'm pissed.


All jokes aside, I know him. I know when he is not being honest and in my heart of hearts I really think he is struggling with trying to find the answer I need to hear.. but he realized he fucked up when he said "I don't know" and doesn't know what else to say to fix it... so he goes further down the fuck up hole.... MEN!

So now I'm trying to figure it out for him. My mind is racing because we have been together pretty much every minute since this pandemic started. Outside of a trip to Trader Joe when I didn't feel like going there was never enough time for him to be chauffeuring Peaches around and bluetoothing.


So I went there...

"Can I see your phone?"


Let’s pause again....


Ladies, don’t do this. Just don’t. I wasn’t thinking straight. In that moment I was determined to solve this mystery by any means. But, this not the right thing to do. Leave his phone alone!


Let’s continue...


He gave me his phone with an "I don't have anything to hide" face and I immediately searched for "Peaches". Nothing.

I then skimmed through the text messages, hoping I didn’t see anything else that was suspect. Nothing.

I didn't find anything which made me even more upset about going through his phone especially because I didn't find Peaches.


Now I'm trying to save his ass by digging back into my memory to think of when I last connected to the Bluetooth... which is always. I drove his truck more than I drive my car and I did not remember seeing Peaches before. I needed to figure this shit out. I needed to know exactly what day Peaches was in the truck! The only thing I could think of was the week before when The Daughter visited us. She asked if she could connect to Bluetooth so we can hear her music... But did she really name her phone "Peaches"?


"Call Asia. And I hope she's Peaches because this is a bunch of bullshit" I snapped at him.


The phone rang and she picked up. But before she could even say hello I demanded to know the name of her phone.


"Huh" she responded, clearly confused.


"WHAT IS THE NAME OF YOUR PHONE? I ask again.


From her "huh" and silence I could tell she didn't understand why I was asking the question so aggressively but she responded anyway. In a very reluctant voice she said.... "Peaches."


I looked at The Husband and apologized immediately. Thank goodness because I really wasn't in the mood to be angry! And voila, my face snapped back like nothing happened. 🥰


"Thanks for saving my life" he said to The Daughter.


I feel better now. But, next time don't say... "I don't know!" 😏



Peaches???? Really???


Lesson for me: Calm the heck down!



- Adila FQ