This morning The Husband triggered something in me....
During this morning's run, when we reached the corner of our block The Husband kept running even though he did not have the right of way. I immediately slowed down so the oncoming car, that had the green light, could continue to drive but my husband continued to run into the street. Why did he assume the car would stop for him? We had the red light so we were supposed to stop! My face immediately turned into some type of fire spitting Godzilla and words of disappointment started to pour out of my mouth. But as I heard myself talking I realized what my real issue was... and it had nothing to do with my oblivious husband wanting to enjoy his run uninterruptedly.
Then I remembered who I was dealing with. The Husband went to a White boarding school, He was the first Black person in 5 years to graduate with a Chemistry degree from the University of Pittsburgh and got his PHD at 27 years old... his experiences are completely different than mine which explains why I sometimes say he's a Black man with a White privileged mentality.
But I was still upset, I didn't want the driver to feel like he had to stop for us because we are Black. I didn't want the driver to think that we feel like we can break the rules now that Black lives are starting to matter. And to put it bluntly, I don't want White people to feel like they have to go above and beyond like wearing Kente cloth to make me feel comfortable. I don't want it to be assumed that I want my ass kissed.
As all of these thoughts swirl around in my mind up ahead I see a White man running in the middle of the street giving 0 fucks about the cars behind him.
I then picked up my face, muted the angry thoughts and wished I had the balls, literally, to stop following the "rules".