I don't know who needs to hear this, but they don't love you... they love them.... I speak from experience!
After years of a bunch of one sided relationships you finally meet your other half! All of the boxes are checked.... thoughtful, considerate, calls when they say they will, they initiate and plan date nights. Then there are the qualities that got your thongs ripped off in the first place.... attractive, good job and super sexy.
All is right in your world. Butterflies and shit fluttering around in your gut. Life is pretty damn amazing...
....Fast forward a month or so when you changed plans because of an urgent family emergency. You can reschedule that trip to the movies, right? Wrong! They berated you for putting your family before them and you loved all of it... because their anger showed you how much they care about you. You gradually start to let your guard down and you notice an immediate change in their behavior. Quality time becomes draining. Conversations become accusatory and mean. You find yourself thinking WTF just happened? Who is this person? How can I fix this?
The mind fuck is what happened and you Sis are the latest victim of narcissistic personality disorder.
What is a narcissistic personally disorder? A person who has an excessive interest or admiration for themself. Let's be clear, this is not your average selfish person. This is a deep rooted fucked up sense of self. They do whatever is necessary to get you. The challenge is what motivates them and once they think they have you they play on every emotion and awesome quality you showed them... Because you are weak and because they can. This person learned what makes you tick and eventually you fall for it and tada... you're under their spell...
Here are a few signs that you are attached to a narcissist.
1. They are extremely charming and confident.
But who doesn't want that in the person they are dating? This is more of an intense sense of I'm the shit and you're a piece of shit.
2. Their interest level in you changes from 100 - 0 real quick.
Once they feel like you're not as great as they are... they abruptly lose interest.
3. Everyone envies them.
Either the world is jealous or everyone thinks they are so amazing. And you better believe it too because if you don't you will be the enemy.
4. Your feelings are... wait, what feelings?
Your feelings don't matter. You're a nothing and they will remind you of your nothingness whenever they can.
5. Drama is life.
They are always surrounded by some type of drama. They create it or lie about it... either way they are in it. They survived it and will let you know all about it. Their need for admiration and fame is so deep the world must know every detail.
6. Criticism angers them.
How dare you? Any and all criticism makes them hostile and extremely angry. They think their shit really does smell like tulips and roses.
7. They need to be validated, always.
Once they see you're not impressed they will move on to their new victim. There will always be someone else.... well, because they are so fucking amazing!
8. Social Media junkie.
They eat and sleep likes and followers. They obsess over continuously having their number increase regularly... for more validation, of course.
9. Intense mood swings or shows signs of substance abuse.
Deep down they are battling serious demons. They have mood swings and need to be in a mind altering state so they can continue to be "perfect".
10. They are controlling.
Where are you going, who are you talking to, what are you wearing... Their sense of entitlement validates their need to be in control. They are perfect so they want you to be perfect also. Period.
And what does all of this really mean?.... It means they are insanely INSECURE!
Most of us have a story like this to tell.... some of us are currently knee deep in this shitty situationship and need some reminding.
BTW, this narcissistic behavior is not limited to your dating life... they can also be a friend or family member and in this case it's even harder to recognize.
Pay attention and follow your gut... You got this!